Are
you bald, and proud of it?
Why not proclaim this to the world? Let’s stand up and be counted! After all, it’s been proven: bald men are more intelligent and sexier than their wimpy, hairier counterparts….
Fact: An estimate 40 million of the men over age 18 in the United States are bald or balding-and the numbers are growing every day. That’s a large number of us, and makes us a huge minority! But do we have pride in who we are, or do we hang our (bald) heads in shame? Now, there’s a way to let the world know that you’re proud to be male, virile, and bald!
Dear Friend,
Are you bald, or do you know someone who is? I’m sure you do, because there are a lot more of us now-more than ever before in the history of the world. It’s a simple fact of life: as we get older, we lose hair. Some of the really lucky ones start losing it even younger.
Are you bald? Do you proclaim this fact proudly to the world? I believe it’s time for bald men to stand up, and be counted. No more hanging our bald heads in shame when people view our magnificent pates. Personally, I feel sorry for men who hide their heads behind toupes, or the magnificent way they were created by combing side hair over. And hair transplants? Yuckkk! No pills, drugs, rugs, or plugs for me! I like the way I am, just fine and for good reason.
Bald is beautiful. That’s why it’s our national symbol-we found the one bald-appearing animal to represent strength and pride.
After all, baldness is related to an excess of male hormones. Now, how can that be bad??? While other men are running to take Viagra, we’re oozing masculinity. And you’ve probably heard that bald men are more intelligent. Well, it’s true. Think for a moment about the bald men you know (including yourself). Aren’t we all just a bit smarter than the rest of the crowd?
So why not proclaim to the world that you’re bald-and proud of it? That the way God created you is just fine-and in fact, better than average? After all, there are plenty of reasons to be glad you’re bald:
-Hair is hot in the summertime. While your friends are all sweating away, you’re in cool comfort.
-Bald heads are in fashion: look at how many shaved heads celebrities are sporting nowadays. They’re trying their best to achieve our status as baldies, because they know bald is great!
-Bald men make better lovers. Ask any woman, and she’ll agree: bald men are the best!
-Bald is smart and successful. Walk into the board room of any successful corporation, and take a look at the heads around you. The numbers of shiny pates will amaze you.
Famous bald people are everywhere you look. Some of the more well-known ones include political figures and famous stars, and include Robert Urich, Telly Sevalas, Ghandi, G. Gordon Liddy, Yul Brynner, and Patrick Stewart. Even Homer Simpson is bald…and the list goes on and on.
There are plenty of reasons to be proud you’re bald-and you have excellent company. So why not make a statement about your baldness? That’s why I created Bald Statements. It’s a way for us bald guys to start undoing all the negative publicity around us. A chance to reverse all the misinformation about bald men going around. And a chance for loved ones to support our cause!
Support bald men-buy a sticker.
If you’re bald, and proud of it, buy one of these bumper stickers to tell the world that you’re ready to stand up and be counted.
If you love a bald person, buy a sticker to show your support, and watch them smile.
Imagine the look on someone’s face when you show him a sticker that shows that you understand him-and love him for it.
These stickers make great birthday gifts or humorous gifts for any occasion, because the message behind them says: ‘I understand, I care, I’m smiling with you’.
“I suffered
from low self esteem. Then a friend bought me a bumper sticker from
Bald Statements. It changed my life. I display it proudly on my car,
and you wouldn’t believe the cars that honk at me, and say, ‘I’m with
you, man!’ It’s made me feel better about who I am.”
John Smith
This
obviously fake testimonial is here until one of you sends us your REAL
bald story…we want the bald facts, please, and if we like your story,
we’ll publish it here on this web site.
All our gifts are made by bald men for bald men in stuffy back rooms. They put in long hours slaving over the designs, sweat causing their heads to shine, coming up with the perfect message…because they believe in our cause. Shouldn’t you order one, and start supporting bald men today?
For just the price of a meal at Taco Bell, you can let people know who you are, and what you stand for.
I hope you’ll agree with me, that bald is beautiful-and we should stand up and be counted. So why not order one today, and let people know that you’re proud to be you? Or send one to a friend or family member, and bring some humor into their life?
You’ll be glad you did, and so will they!
Sincerely,
Randy Roberts
CEO, Bald Statements
P.S. Check out these specials below. I think you’ll agree that there are some great items this month!